Saturday, July 31, 2010

Men and Children

It bothers me so much that in North America a man can barely smile at a child that isn't his without the mother or a watching stranger look at him like a pervert.
Society as a whole treats men like the majority of them are predators and sexual deviants.
I've encountered countless places that brag that their caregivers are all women, and when they do hire men they aren't allowed to change diapers or be alone with the children.
We teach our children if they are lost to find a woman for help but never a man, even if a man wanted to help, many are too afraid to try.
It doesn't make sense to me.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

100 Things You Might Not Have Known About Me

  1. I've seen "The Sound of Music" hundreds of times and have 4 different copies of the movie (2 VHS and 2 DVD)
  2. I hate when my food touches on my plate
  3. I can't eat bananas without gagging.
  4. I've never tried a recipe that didn't turn out well
  5. I often feel like I give more than I get in relationships, which leads to a lot of let downs.
  6. I love baking, but I don't like sweets so I bake for friends, which makes me happier than eating any cookie.
  7. Some days I hope to get lung cancer so my dad and his girlfriend will regret smoking around me when I've told them how much I hate it.
  8. For over 10 years I've have the same best friend, but after 6 months in Kingston I feel like I can rely on, and confide in more to the friends I've made here.
  9. I can change diapers like no ones business but I HATE touching food, whether I'm preparing it or eating it.
  10. I sometimes still feel that my stuffed animals have feelings, so Sophie, Davey and Fernando have never been left on the floor.
  11. I have been inspired by so many people in my love for youth, Eva and the two J's inspired me the most, all three in very different ways. 
  12. Internet speak still gives me a headache. I can handle LOL and things like that. But "so lyke r u goin 2 da party @ daves 2nite?" makes me want to beat you like a pinata. Seriously, just type like a human being.
  13. I can't sleep without a body pillow unless I really have to.
  14. I want to move in to Chapters. I loove the smell of new books.
  15. I have no idea what colour my eyes are. Some days they look almost brown, Sometimes they seem really green.
  16. I love stars, I don't know how anyone could look up at a sky full of stars and not believe in God.
  17. I can't all, no rhythm in me at all.
  18. I've felt a real pull to do a missions trip lately but I'm not sure where to start.
  19. I can remember DREAMS I had when I was no more than 3 or 4
  20. My feet itch like crazy when I drink wine, I have no idea why
  21. I'm not an amazing swimmer but I love being in the water as long as I can stand up.
  22. I find the greatest peace walking around cemeteries
  23. Seeing my grandmothers body was quite possibly the most terrifying moment of my life, Until that point the only body I had seen had already been prepared for the funeral.
  24. If I had a million dollars I would make sure everyone I love was happy before buying anything for myself.
  25. Sometimes I feel like if I were skinny I would finally be noticed for my personality instead of my weight
  26. I have ordered, but could not stomach the thought of eating, a "McGangbang" at McDonald's
  27. I honestly don't feel like I've been truly loved by a man other than my father... and sometimes I even doubt that
  28. My lucky number has always been 4
  29. I have a tiny mole above my ring finger that's been there since birth that my mom said was to remind me where to put my ring
  30. I believe I would have been happier in the 1930's
  31. I sometimes wonder if the person I just passed on the street is going to shoot me because I've seen his face
  32. I fully believe, trust and love God and Jesus, but I can't bring myself to deny some aspects of evolution
  33. I often fear that people are only tolerating me
  34. In elementary school I decided I wanted glasses so I bombed a vision test on purpose and only wore my glasses a handful of time
  35. To this day my mom still never believes me when I said that something is wrong
  36. I've always felt like I should marry an Andrew or a Bryan
  37. The first time I babysat a baby he fell over and bonked his head, this scared me so much that I didn't try to babysit anyone under 3 for three years after that...I still haven't told his parents but for the next few years I thought anything that was wrong with him was my fault, I was 14
  38. I hate hot dogs
  39. I have no intention of staying at my wedding reception. I want to have dinner, do the father daughter and first dance, cut the cake, throw the bouquet and leave. But I hope everyone else will stay and enjoy the party.
  40. After a full on boycott of "The OC" when it was on, I've fallen in love with it on DVD
  41. I make the best SKOR cookies in the world
  42. I've only been drunk once in my life and I was so gone I still have very few memories
  43. I didn't know I was drinking
  44. I know bottled water is way overpriced, I know its bad for the environment, I know tap water won't hurt me.
  45. And still I buy a 24 case every few weeks. 
  46. I feel like a prisoner in my bedroom because its the only room in the house free of smoke
  47. I'm made to feel like a snob because I stay in my room all the time
  48. At this point I feel like I should cop out and cut to 50 things
  49. Still debating it
  50. I CAN DO IT
  51. Yes I know I just cheated. Sue me.
  52. I've contemplated adoption simply so my kids have a chance at not having the problems I've had
  53. I may not have a choice in the matter.
  54. I hate when people complain that other drivers are doing the speed limit.... It is a LIMIT!! A MAXIMUM speed, not a minimum speed or even a suggested speed, if it bugs you to obey the law go around or turn and find another way.
  55. I hate when I can "feel" music, I like it only loud enough that I can hear it clearly
  56. I'm on a carrot fix right now, I'm hoping it lasts
  57. I never, ever want to sit down and figure out how much money I've spent on my 150+ disk DVD collection
  58. My favourite ice cream isn't ice cream at all, and I've only had it once, It's Woodruff gelato and I can only describe the taste as a mild citrus-y slightly vanilla-y flavour that made my lips numb
  59. I'm starting to resent my friend for the amount of money I've had to spend on her wedding that's been pushed back several times
  60. I cook my KD for 4 minutes, any longer and I will discard the whole box if theres no one else around to eat it
  61. I have never had mashed potatoes, If i wanted to eat baby food, I would
  62. I love to be surprised but I hate secrets, If you can't be stealth enough that I have no idea there's something going on, don't bother
  63. I use cake mixes and say its scratch when I bake for family since they don't care
  64. All of my Christmas baking WAS from scratch
  65. I regret my wrist tattoos and wish I had pushed for what I wanted instead of what the guy doing it thought would be better
  66. I have a scar on my throat
  67. When strangers have the guts to ask what its from, sometimes I will make up a far more exciting story than "When I was little I had a cyst removed"
  68. I worked at a call center doing tech support
  69. When people would ask about my life I would make stuff up, it made the job more interesting
  70. I could never eat lamb chops all because of the silly sock puppet
  71. Love when I get comments on my blog, but I never do
  72. I love taking the train
  73. I wonder if I've met my soul mate but didn't give him the time of day in my more shallow years
  74. Maybe 75 things would be sufficient?
  75. I HATE political correctness, I tend to live by a "sticks and stones" philosophy
  76. I wonder if people notice the small things I do for them
  77. I hate wearing jeans at home, the first thing I do when I walk in the door is change
  78. If you ask me if I've seen a movie, I will almost always say yes whether I have or not, and there's a very good reason for it
  79. My memory is amazing, I can remember most of my childhood from about 3 on
  80. Sometimes I wish I could forget
  81. I feel sad that my ex's have found new love
  82. I don't like driving, It makes me too nervous
  83. I've been trying very hard to be 100% myself lately and I'm not sure if there's a real difference
  84. I resent that the times I tried to be honest with my ex he didn't seem to care to hear and this made me feel like I was lying to him
  85. I think many parents today are a little nuts, When do they get time for themselves if they have to be with their child 24/7  until they are 15
  86. I will never forget my sister saying that if she got pregnant she would have an abortion without blinking an eye
  87. It was the day after I found out I might not be able to have kids of my own one day
  88. I can't tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi
  89. I want to run a summer camp one day
  90. I HATE mushrooms and am kind of glad they make me sick
  91. I long to lay in a canoe with a bunch of pillows and blankets and read for hours
  92. I also know that I am the most motion sick person I know
  93. I can't be awake for dental procedures without throwing up 
  94. I once put nair in a bottle of my shampoo when my roommate denied she was using my stuff
  95. She was...
  96.  I think the smell of people who smoke is worse than dead skunk
  97. I once had my nose pierced
  98. I still have a picture of my ex on my wall with a note he wrote me in the back of the frame where he left it, I'm not sure why, I've thought of taking it down and replacing the picture lots of times but haven't
  99. I hate my feet and hands
  100. I really really really want people to comment on this, I spent all afternoon working on it

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Memories of the nose

I think everyone has certain memories that are evoked by certain smells. The smell of cookies in the oven, or the smell of pipe tobacco for some remind them of visits to the grandparents. For others a certain cologne or shampoo might remind them of their first love.
There are so many smells that bring back memories for me. The smell of snow on a mild sunny day makes me think of going out for recess in elementary school. The smell of soap and fabric softener reminds me of hugging my friend Dan who always seemed to have just gotten out of the shower and right into freshly washed clothes just before I saw him. Sometimes I'll smell something that reminds me of the barracks at cadet camps
There is one cologne, and I have no idea what it is, but every once in a while I'll walk past someone and get a whiff and it takes me right back to my first kiss.
There are several other smells that I associate with other boyfriends from my past but this one sticks out the most, maybe because it's the one that eludes me. Every time I smell it I am so tempted to sniff everyone around so I can find out what it is.
 I'm not sure if this is the reason why I tend to notice if people smell good or not soon after I meet them , It's become one of the things I look for in a guy.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Sunday, January 24, 2010


(i've decided to do away with the code names since the person I wanted anonymity from is already reading and knowingly so...and I've run out of ideas for nicknames.)

I went into camp with high expectation, and Snocamp EXCEEDED them all! It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life!!!!!!
300 young Christians just worshiping and praising God and having a blast together. I also got to bond with some of my local friends and became quite close with many of them.
Lisa in the car just as we were leaving

We left Friday afternoon around 2, met the rest of the group at the church and headed out. I was in a car with Andrew, Lisa and Julie,which was AWESOME in my books! We drove for about 2 hours and arranged to meet up with the other car at Jack Astor's for supper in Whitby for supper around 4:30. Had a wonderful dinner together (And made a lot of fun of Julie, who read the menu, (Jack Astor's tends to have off-colour jokes all over) and read that there were wings for football on Sunday and drinks for tonsil hockey on Friday and asked what tonsil hockey was and when it started LOL. We got her to ask the waiter for a huge laugh (Julie was a great sport through all of this)
When the other group got there we ordered and Bowser (real name) asked a blessing for the food and we had a nice chat while we ate before heading out again to finish our journey to camp. (about 5 hours in total)
We got there about 7:30 and met up with the third car from our group and checked in to our cabin. We had a whole cabin (7 bunks) to ourselves for the 6 girls in the group so we all took a top bunk (except Lisa) and used the other bed for our stuff which worked out nicely.
Once we were settled it was time for snack before heading to the first session. I always get nervous about sessions at retreats, I find they can get dry and boring but these were great! They had an amazing band (Article One) Bring us into worship each session and a great speaker. We had 5 sessions in total over the three days (on Fri. Night, 3 Sat. and one this morning) And talked about everything from overcoming tragedy, to relationships, to the importance of coming together with other Christians for support.
We had a volleyball tournament, played broomball for a few hours, lots of card and board games, good food, good friends, old friends, new friends...all very good.
Julie and Bowser

Tina and Katherine

All the girls
Clockwise from top left: Kat, Tina, Brianne, Me, Lisa, Julie

Alex (King of funny faces in pics)


Andrew, Lisa, Alex

Alex, Julie, Rob

Bowser, He's yawning here (I think)
But this pic was a fluke and I LOVE it

Cardboard Bobsled Comp....
We failed...Dismally

We lost the volleyball tournament..
 14-11 in the first round

Tina, Brianne and Pat

The whole group

I'll add more pics as I steal them from the other girls.

I can't wait to go back to camp next year and in the meantime, spend more time with my new friends.